‘In “How Children Learn at Home” we concentrated on how children learn school subjects informally at home. Our aim was to build up a general picture of learning at home. This time we are going to narrow the focus more specifically to reading. Having used the word “informal” already I must add that we are not just interested in the autonomous end of the scale here. Parents who deliberately teach their children to read using a standard reading scheme are still informal in the sense that they, and their children, had the freedom to choose this path and the freedom to choose when, where, how and why to go about their learning. ‘

What they have found so far about how children learn is fascinating and well worth the rad.  It is especially encouraging to those of us who have taken a more facilitation style of teaching our children.

As I’m doing my best to daily immerse our kids in an engaging learning environment and introducing them to a variety of inspiring subjects, I am delighted to be discovering their passions with them, and comforted in the remembrance that these precious soul stirrings and that ultimate quickening of their spirits towards Him are all individual workings of His Spirit within them, as we’re learning to walk out His Word in our lives together, and therefore not solely dependent upon me, nor anyone else. I need but tune in to them, and especially their Creator, while keeping my eyes wide open to the opportunities abounding in each moment as we journey together each day, lest I miss those small sparks that would ultimately kindle their passions and thereby could someday even dictate their very livelihoods.

I have found that with our oldest daughter, 9yo T, who is my “go-getter”, this is an easier thing to recognize; her passions. She talks about them, and initiates doing stuff working towards exploring them on her own. When she’s inspired, the results are much more extravagant and obvious than when our 12 yo son, N is impassioned. He tends to discover passions (like writing, dance, reading a certain book, horse riding) after I’ve suggested he try something out. Lately I have been fascinated over the inter-connectedness of their blossoming personalities with the opportunities they’ve been offered thusfar in their young lives. I’m left to wonder over how beautifully it has all worked together… and question which came first, a specific passion or was an experience the catalyst of curiosity turned to desire? I’ve been musing over what the ramifications of these truths could be, not only in my kids’ lives, but in my own as well.

And we know that for those who love God, that is, for those who are called according to his purpose, all things are working together for good.

~ Romans 8.28

It’s certainly a mystery profound how the Sovereign Lord choreographs our very lives, nurturing those seeds of talent He placed within us, even as He knit us in the womb, while simultaneously allowing the free-will of our individuality. It’s caused me to consider the weighty responsibility Chris and I have as parents to introduce our children- His children- to a wide array of possibilities, directing them toward His truths, and presenting them with an assortment of rich ideas for their minds and hearts to grow upon. Gradually, I am learning to recognize when the “education” is doing its work within them, and to therefore not snuff out the tiny flames which seem yet so insignificant by my own lofty unrealistic adult-perspective qualifying standards, set mostly by pre-conceived ideas of how learning “should look”… Meaningful learning does not necessarily mean a finished *project*. I’m learning to look with my child-eyes again.

For instance, the other day when T showed me the language she’s creating for the characters in one of her stories, my first teacherly-Mom thoughts were along the lines of, “well, that’s not a real language… why should she be wasting her time and all of that good language interest and energies with this when we could be working on our Latin or Hebrew?” Thankfully, in the next instant, I realized that I was witnessing a beautifully genuine representation of this child’s love for language and passion for writing. And so the thoughts I expressed to her were those of encouragement and “why not?, how clever!” and musings over the inceptions of various languages.

But that was not the only challenge along these lines that either one of my kids have thrown at my feeble mind in the last couple of weeks. Last month N, who’s been taking guitar lessons for just over a year now (that was his own inspired idea, which he faltered in when it came to the monotany of daily practice), announced to me that he’d like to come up with his own song to play at our co-op’s end of the semester student presentations ceremony… I immediately had to shush my overly-conservative, doubtful-of-his-being-ready-to-do-that thoughts right up. After months of laboring resistantly through daily practicings on his guitar, he’s made it over some kind of mental hump, and now usually plays daily (without my having to tell him to!), and tells me he absolutely loves it. He was also greatly inspired by the movie August Rush. As we’re driving home from his lessons nowadays, he often tells me excitedly of what he’s learning, and how encouraging his guitar teacher is. Just last week his instructor told him that he could play his own songs without having any music written out(?!), and could even learn to play chords he hasn’t yet formally learned, just by intently listening to a piece of music and then copying what he hears. Imagine that… I am so thankful for the many wonderfully inspiring people that have been God’s vessels of instruction for our kids  (and myself) over the years, what evidence of HIS faithful provision! On so very many levels, this whole parenting/homeschooling business has been such a growing experience for my own faith levels.

And I know that I’ve mentioned here before of how my daring daughter gets these crazy inspired ideas to do things that are much bigger than any goals I’d ever set for her. I’ve seen how God has been faithful to send others into our lives to facilitate dreaming and passions that I could not… but I’m apparently a slow learner. Usually my first (natural) impulse is to caution her and help her to pare her visions down a bit, set her sights more realistically… but her fervor and insistence that she can and has already counted the cost of a conceived endeavour has once again inspired me, and as I’ve let go of the reigns I had moments before fearfully rationally tightened my grip on, I’ve been further delighted to see how God has sent others to come along side of me/us to see that her fans are flamed and help set her on the path to accomplishing these fantastic goals that I couldn’t have orchestrated or provided for on my own, let alone have even decided upon.

Once again, this week it seems that another request, prayerfully offered up by a girl with bigger faith shoes than I can fill has been fulfilled by a generous Father.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows…

~ James 1.17

T has praise in her heart. She loves to put on worship music and dance before the Lord enthusiastically. It’s something that I’ve enjoyed doing with my kids since they were babies in my arms, twirling together with hands lifted high. T told me on Monday that she’d like to choreograph her own dance to a Third Day song and perform it at the aforementioned homeschool co-op student presentation ceremony. I gulped down my doubts, astonished at her brevity, again. She proceeded to explain her plans to me, and I just nodded along as I listened, knowing better than to discourage her resolve. “I’m going to ask Mrs. Jamie (her dance instructor- that’s another testimony we have of His great provision for us- scholarships for dance lessons) to help me with my moves and figuring it all out.” “That’s a good idea.” “Okay then, you’ll have to wait for me a little bit longer after class so that I can talk to her about it.” I agreed. And after her dance class ended on Tuesday, I watched as she gingerly approached her teacher, holding her passion close, encased in a dream that she proceeded to share with a trusted confidante. To my great surprise and delight, Jamie agreed to help her and meet with her a half hour before her class, every week- for free! I went back and checked with her myself after T told me, just to make sure it was really alright! Is that crazy-generous, and just like God, or what?! Needless to say, T is so excited about it that she’s on fire now, and has asked a dancing friend that we carpool with to join her in the dance! She’s been busily drawing and dancing up her choreography plans. Here’s what she’s got so far:

I tried getting some pictures of her dancing, but she wouldn’t cooperate.

She did, however, allow me to take some pictures of her practicing on her violin. This – her opportunity to play the violin this year- is another story of her aspirations met by the willing Hand of Providence.

T has wanted to take violin lessons for years. I believe that the desire was probably first sparked sometime in her toddlerhood, when we spent a great deal of time with friends, whose then highschool daughter played the violin beautifully. She would watch and listen to her play intently every chance that she got. She began asking for lessons a few years ago, but we couldn’t afford private violin lessons, and neither Chris nor I can even read music (something which both of our children are now learning to do quite well -without us!).  As I do, I told her that I would join with her in praying that if it be His will, that He would provide an avenue for this opportunity for her. Then last year, we were blessed with the means to pay for N to have the private guitar lessons I mentioned above, and she so wanted the same. She confided to me of how she was struggling with jealousy and I reminded her that he too had been waiting for years for music lessons. Her time would come… and to be patient. Meanwhile, she decided to master her recorder and used the book that it came with to teach herself to read music and play quite a few folk songs. She joined a class offered at our co-op for the recorder, and took heart in my reminder not to despise small beginnings.

Then, to our delighted amazement, a wonderful lady decided to teach a strings class at our homeschool co-op this year, specifically violin and cello. T was beside herself with excitement over this opportunity to finally learn to play her instrument of choice – the violin. Now… if only we had a violin. I prayerfully sought the Lord, trusting Him to provide this too, knowing that with Him in it, it would all come together. Chris and I knew that it would have to happen cheaply to be feasible for us. Then towards the end of last school year, it came up at our Bible study with some friends that T was so glad to be looking forward to taking a violin class at our co-op, and since this friend had played for years, we asked her for suggestions concerning our finding a used violin for T. To our thrilled astonishment, she offered to loan T her own beautiful violin for as long as she needed it. I am glad that she had to wait, as I can see how it presented opportunity for her own faith to grow as she’s seen the Lord’s faithfulness in providing for her.

Time and again I have been blessed to see God’s orchestration of timely provision for our children’s passions, in both their inceptions and continuity. As their Mother and primary instructor, I find rest in knowing that it is not up to me to bring all these good things to life in their worlds,

‘ Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’
Says the LORD of hosts.

~ Zechariah 4.6

but rather I am just an open conduit of His loving kindness and purposes for each of them, His unique creations.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

The other day the antique appraiser I help out, remembering how in the past I have needed to work less in order to spend time teaching the kids, asked when I needed to change my schedule and be less available.  It caught me off guard because I have gotten so used to our lifestyle of learning.  It took me a moment to come up with an answer that would avoid getting into this whole unschooling business but also satisfy her.  I said that the kids had, for the most part, taken over their own learning and listed quickly off all the projects they have done in the last few months, being careful to point out the expected learning that has occurred in this unexpected way.  She was satisfied and moved on to the project at hand while I got to be completely honest without going into a detailed explanation.

The funny thing is that it caused me to realize how comfortable it has become, so comfortable that I don’t even think about “school”  anymore.  For a former public school teacher and child of public school teachers this is shocking.  My brain has forgotten “schooly” things and is focused on life and relationships.  I no longer think of what the kids are doing in educational terms unless someone asks (though I have also learned to quickly sum up the most recent educational things going on).  It is funny how quickly it occurred and how easy it is to see all the play for what it is–God-given life training.

As I write my oldest is composing a song and has figured out how to record it on our spare keyboard.  She recently figured out a numbering system to write music notes, using the electric typewriter she bought with her own money at a yard sale, to see her through until she has taught herself how to read music.  My middle child was last seen reading a factual book about Russia and my son was building an articulated robot out of Construx and card board. This morning we spent an hour playing together on the newly floored living room–me showing them ballet from my childhood and them trying to hold each position then sliding around the room in break dance type action (which they learned from Youtube) in their footy pajamas.  Yesterday during an impromptu trip to IKEA my son and I talked about God and being thankful for ALL things, months, days, and the calendar, multiplication, telling jokes, and reading Bible names.  Earlier in the day Rachel and I watched my favorite fight scenes from several old Kung Fu flicks which prompted discussion of the culture surrounding those movies.   She has also been watching Jane Austen movies (her favorite being the 5 hour BBC version of Pride and Prejudice).  Esther showed up at one point with her favorite insect guide explaining to me her theory of why bee colonies are disappearing (she was reading about a kind of mite that kills honey bees.)  Rachel spent an hour reading Crafty Crow and Skip to  my Lou looking at and trying out various craft ideas, including making leaf people outside which turned into a game of tag.   The kids used the laminate flooring boxes to make robot costumes and sandwich board card costumes like those in Alice in Wonderland.

Who knows what they will be into tomorrow though I can predict to some extent because I know my kids and what each of their interests are.  Likely my middle child will draw some more pictures to add to the hanging art gallery she has developed on her ceiling over her bed (she gives “tours” and has it set up in rooms).  My oldest will probably add to the doll house she has created of small wall shelf she bought at a yard sale–the furniture is made of drawings on paper and bits of this and that from around the house. My son will come down and help measure the linear footage of trim we need for the downstairs (the girls will probably help–they love measuring and adding it all up.)

The thing is, this is WHO they are and who God created them to be.  Because they have plenty of materials on hand and the freedom to do and make they will run with it.  They are allowed to watch as much tv and play as many video games as they like–which they do (unless of course they have a job they need to do like their dishes or someo ther parental request) but it is not nearly as much as one might expect–they watch, in general, much less than they would if I limited the time spent.  Because they have freedom and materials on hand, they have TONS of movies and lots of video games, plenty of arts and crafts materials and the freedom to use scrap paper and other random bits of stuff they have much more interesting things to do than sit and watch DVD’s.  We are also blessed because we live in an old house where it is not the end of the world if someone draws on the floor  or forgets to use tape and glues their awesome drawing of a boy with a kite on a rope or hot air balloon to to the wall.  Sometimes things get messy (okay, usually–5 people at home all day means no house beautiful), sometimes too much is enough, and sometimes they fight, but in general it is a peaceful life overflowing with learning and activity, and we all are learning daily.

Issac waiting for a boat ride at the pond, investigating the metal loop that holds the boat to the dock.

I know this question well because we also struggled with it, and it is why we have been so slow to trust God on this whole unschooling thing.  Our conversations with God have gone something like this:

Us: “God, we know you are leading us towards letting the kids follow their interests but are you sure you don’t want us to have SOME structure? ”

God: “Do you trust me?”

Us: “Well yes but we really think they need to learn how to do basic computation on paper and a bit of spelling, and well, there are a few more things we really feel they should know.”

God : “Do you trust me?”

Us: “Well yes, but what about the boring stuff?   What about the stuff they hated doing when we did school the old fashioned way?”

God: “Do you trust me?”

Us: “Well yeah, but, what about all those battles that happened because they HATED the very things you are telling us to trust you about?”

God: “Do you TRUST me?”

Us: “Well, yeah, well, pretty much. Okay, well, yes, we trust you.”

God: “Then let go and let me lead them. Love me, love each other, show them your love for me, talk about me with them, talk to them about your interests, talk to them about their interests,  I will take care of the rest.”

Us: “Um, okay, if you are sure.”

God: “Trust me.”

Issac, despite owning multiple car ramps, built new ones from boxes he found and cut up.

We are trusting Him and it has been amazing.  While the kids still turn up their noses at the books and activities that we used for “school” they gather huge quantities of resources that they have not used before; text books, curriculum, activity books, how to books, language courses, whatever (many things I think are desperately boring).  Not only are they taking them but they are using them.

Issac using the Shark mini vac my grandma gave me to clean the ENTIRE downstairs floor, without being asked.

While cleaning the area we stored text books and workbooks the kids took ALL the educational books that they had not used for “school”  to their own rooms for further study–included in the books the kids secured are a high school math curriculum set which Rachel found fascinating and wanted for her own with promises of discussion of it with Daddy, several atlases and dictionaries in English AND Polish, numerous workbooks (Issac has been doing them at bedtime to fall asleep), lots and lots of blank notebooks for writing stories and comics in, lots of science books (which Esther confiscated and which I am finding everywhere–a sure sign she is reading them and leaving them where she finished them), word searches and other activity books, and a slew of other things I have forgotten.

Issac preparing to for a ride in the motor boat.

They are using those materials and others they have found around the house.  Rachel finished the first draft of her book and is waiting for me to finish her website before she edits it (she has decided that now that she can write by hand with no backwards letters and spelling mostly right she should learn to type.)  Esther wrote a short story and has been making me comic books ever since.  Then the kids each got a math kit (compass, ruler, etc.) from Target’s clearance back to school sale and started using them for drawing pictures and graphs and charts.  This prompted Rachel to get several math books on charts and graphs out of the nonfiction section at the library.  They started measuring everything in the house, including figuring out the area of the living room and hall so we could get laminate flooring.  They have been adding, subtracting, multiplying measurements.  Our household looks like “If You Give a Mouse  a Cookie” only with learning.

Issac building IKEA furniture

After that came the Polish curriculum I found at the thrift shop.  I spent a few months in Poland while in college and the kids love stories about that as well as about my grandmother’s Polish family.  I figured maybe I would use it to touch up on what I do remember.  Instead Rachel snatched it up and has been practicing ever since.  She has also  added the Rosetta Stone demo version of the Polish language lesson to her studies.  Esther has joined her in this study and they run around the house naming things in Polish.

Esther demonstrating her knowledge of boat safety.

And this is just the tip of the iceburg.  There is so much more going on than I can even keep track of.  Discussions have included: Scotland and Gaelic, square roots and cube roots, how mortgages work and the snowball effect, natural disasters and what causes them physically, how wind works, spelling and word order, reading big words and finding their meanings, adding and multiplying fractions (while baking), determining cloud direction, and a multitude of other things.  All of it has been interest led–the kids are running with this freedom to learn and explore, and are learning many things that I think are horribly dull and boring (but don’t tell them I said that.)

The girls often stay up in the evening working at their table, writing, reading, drawing, or in this case creating charts and graphs for the fun of it.

I think the problem, and the reason for the question in the first place, is found in ourselves and our perception of what is interesting or boring.  Any child that has been public schooled OR trained to think of school in those terms, will think that way as well–except for the odd geekling like my husband was, who at age 10, despite hating school,  spent hours and hours programming a friend’s TI because he wanted to, or like myself who at age 12 spent ALL my spare time reading and researching King Author or reading about whatever scientific thing I was currently interested in (though not what they were teaching in school.)

School trains us to think that school things, including math and grammar, are boring.  The thing is that they are only boring if you are not, at that moment, interested in them.  When, for whatever reason, something peaks your interest you are off and running.  Sure YOU may not want to learn about rocks and gems, but I was passionately fond of studying them–until I had a lesson on them in school which promptly struck that off my list of interesting things until I was graduated from college and got talking to some kids who found a cool rock and wanted to know.

Issac building a tunnel for his track.

So the question answers itself.  Don’t think of it as boring or hard stuff, talk about these things when you run into them.  Watch the kids cues.  Give them openings and opportunities.  If they show interest in something don’t get overly enthusiastic (that is one of those “school” things and will shut off that flow of imagination like nothing else), wait on them.  If you are just starting to move away from the “school” model it may take a while for them to jump in and take over.  Give them space.  Give them time to think of things without “school” or educational hanging over their head.  When you, as an adult, get interested in something you learn it because you want to, you don’t naturally think–”I am learning something, this is educational” you think, “This is cool.  I like this.”  Give your kids the same freedom, pray for wisdom, a lot, and let God open up their minds to multiple interests.  They may stick with something longer than you would expect or drop it in a matter of seconds.  Give them the freedom to do that (you would get nervous of showing interest in something if as soon as you did someone ran out and bought you EVERYTHING yo uneeded to do it–you want to test the waters first, see if it is for you–give your kids the same opportunity).  Find your own interests and passions and run with them.  The kids will learn to follow their passions from your example.  And with freedom to explore, resources at their fingertips, and the imagination and brain power God has provided them, they WILL learn–you won’t be able to stop them–even with the “boring stuff”.

The above video is long but well worth the watch.  I recommend taking it in small chunks because it is full of very interesting information.  My husband described it as running through an art museum trying to see everything.

What does a video by an anthropologist about media literacy have to do with unschooling?

Mike Wesch is a college professor trying to adapt college education to our new media and talks about how the changes in media have changed the way students learn to a group of college professors (a lot of whom have little experience with modern media.)  The first half is very pertinent to where we are as unschooling parents.  The latter part is an interesting experiment but less relavent.

In this video he very clearly outlines the traditional expectations of  education and systematically proves that, in our modern age, each of these suppositions in false.

Public schoolers look at life and learning differently than we do, and that’s why they come to this conclusion. To most everyone in our society, learning is scripted and preprogrammed by someone else. Learning is like a machine you enter, have things done to you, and when you come out the other end, you are “educated.” Some of those prescripted things are fun, some aren’t, and if you could possibly refuse to partake in some elements, you would come out “defective.”

We look at learning from the other side of the universe, it seems. We see it as a process of discovering who you are as a human being. The things you enjoy and find easy are the things you might be gifted at and are worth your time developing. Then as you pursue your interests, you might come to a wall. Are you interested enough to keep working and break through that wall? Peter is interested in philosophy right now. He’s listening to lectures on Heidegger’s book Being in Time. This is not easy reading, by any means, yet he wants to understand, so he spends his free time reading, thinking, and talking about this book. How many graduated seniors choose to spend their time this way?

If we subject children to a daily, yearly barrage of information and practice they hate, we are running the risk of killing their love of learning. We are teaching them that learning is a chore that has to be endured. No wonder kids act like caged animals set free when school’s out. And no wonder so many adults stop learning (reading, pursuing new things) because they are so burned out by their “education.” Or even worse, they’ve learned they are low on the intelligence scale and had better just give up.

If Peter had to pick a subject that he considers hard, it would be math. He’s good at it (99th percentile), has studied up to a beginning Calculus level, but he’s ready to stop. He’s just not interested in studying any more math. If, however, he decides to go into a field that requires upper level math, he’ll take a class in college. It all depends on his goals.

How many stories have we heard of people going to college later in life, even people who were poor students in high school? It’s the motivation and eyes on the prize that propel us to do what we really want to do–and succeed. And sometimes we need the perspective of time away from institutional school to see who we are and what we really want out of life. Kids who have the privilege of finding that out early have the advantage and don’t have wasted years trying to “find themselves.”

What if we could look at learning and education a whole new way? I’m thinking of a children’s book by John Trent called The Treasure Tree: Helping Kids Understand Their Personality. I don’t own this book, and it’s been many years since I read it, but the idea stuck in my head. There are four friends, a lion, a golden retriever, an otter, and a beaver. Each represent different personality types and different strengths. As each uses his strengths, they are able to face challenges and overcome obstacles. But what if they were forced to all have the same strengths? What if they lived in a world where they did not have the opportunity to fully develop who they are? For example, what if the lion had to spend most of his time in swimming lessons to make up for his “deficiency,” but since the otter found swimming easy, he had to take extra classes in Stalking Prey? Or what if we introduce a bird curriculum developer into the picture. Now all these animals have to take flying lessons. What’s wrong with finding out what you are good at and going for the gold? Maybe those things that are hard for you aren’t really worth your time unless you actually need that skill to reach your goal.

I guess the bottom line is to give kids lots of exposure to diverse fields to help them find what they love, the things that excite them and seem easy. I’m reminded of a quote by Thomas Edison, “I never did a day’s work in my life. It was all fun.” This quote is from a man who spent every waking hour experimenting until he held over 1,000 patents, including the electric lightbulb. Fun doesn’t necessarily equal wasted time!

I will say that traditional schooling does a fairly good job of exposing kids to various fields of study. They get to dabble in a lot of things. But the problem is perpetual dabbling, forced dabbling, and no freedom to dive in completely.

Such interesting stuff! Peter is also reading a book by David F. Lancy called Qualitative Research in Education that he loves. He said last night he might end up in sociology studying education. Be still my heart. Could I have raised an education reformer?

photos: Peter on the lights for West Side Story; Melissa found a shell on the beach; Meg painted her bedroom door with roses.

When God really wants us to learn something He speaks to us through our circumstances exactly where we are.

Living for Him and loving His people should be our lifestyle just as learning should be a lifestyle.

Opportunities to learn and to know God better are everywhere, not just in traditional settings.

In fact, those times when we are learning outside of traditional settings tend to be those where we learn and grow the most.

Expect the unexpected and don’t be surprised when God shows up.

It is amazing the learning and growing that God has provided through living life to the fullest, finding joy in His creation, and reading about Him from His Word.  I am so thankful for the numerous opportunities He provides us to learn and grow in wisdom and understanding and in getting to know Him better.  God is GOOD!