By now everyone knows about Good Morning America’s segment on unschooling .  The good news is that it has prompted some brilliant responses around the web.

For instance, How Monkey Learned to Read by Mrs M– a fellow Christian unschooler at I Changed my Name to Mommy.

And Jena wrote a brilliant article called Curious About Unschooling? over at Simple Homeschool

And my own response to the unschooling question, written well before this all came up (and which you all have likely already read) here.

And as a real quick side; I just stopped into the Christian Unschooling facebook group that I created last year and found that we have grown to 73 members!

There have been more in the last few weeks and if you have a link you want to share email me at gracedbychrist (at) gmail (dot) com or leave a comment.

I LOVE picture books, especially picture books that inspire me as an artist. My grandparents made sure we had tons of books growing up, subscribing to Scolastic books and the like for us from the momemnt we could hold a book in our hands. The thing is picture books didn’t inspire me to read. They inspired me to draw and paint, even now the favorite picture books from my childhood inspire me as an artist.

What inspired me to read were those great big books my mom put up high so I wouldn’t destroy them–books like Winnie-the-Pooh, Heidi, A.A. Milne’s poems, a couple Reader’s Digest anthologies for kids, a book of poetry with very few illustrations but designed for children, and several great big sets of vintage children’s books–short on pictures bu full of bits and pieces from wonderful children’s stories through the ages. I would often ask my mom to read to me from them as they were a mystery to me, these books with few pictures but so man words that were clearly designed for children.

Another thing that made me want to read was seeing her cuddled up on the couch, reading a novel. I would snuggle up to her, trying to get her attention. When that didn’t work I would look over her shoulder, trying to figure out what held her attention. To this day I still remember that wall of words and how I couldn’t understand what was so great about it. Every once in a while she would pause her reading to see what I wanted, and I would always ask, regardless of what I had originally wanted, where the pictures were and why she wanted to read a book without pictures. She would always reply, “because I enjoy a good story and like reading books.” Then she would return to reading and I would look over her shoulder, staring at the page trying to see if I could decipher any of the words on it, trying to make sense of the blur of squiggles. Sometimes, if it were a suitable book, she would take a moment to read aloud some bit that I would point out to her, asking what it said. It would be years before I would learn to read and enjoy it because I struggled with the way they taught reading in school–teaching words I didn’t care about, that didn’t follow any rules, reading stories that were stupid and pointless. It wasn’t until I was older and found books I wanted to read that my voracious appetite for reading developed, and never for the books that were supposed to read (except for The Scarlett Letter, which I loved and then got in trouble because I didn’t read it slowly with the class–1 chapter a week but instead read the whole thing in a night and then moved on to other books that I devoured.)

Nowadays I often read aloud to the kids from chapter books with no pictures–the kids know not to ask to see the pictures but one or all will sit by me, looking over my shoulder reading with me (or in Esther’s case, taking the book when I stop for the night and reading the rest on her own.) When I read to myself, Issac–my new reader, will often come cuddle next to me, looking over my shoulder, occasionally stopping me, reading a few words aloud, asking if he read it right, then asking me to reread the whole sentence together so he can hear how it is supposed to sound.

And I am thinking that, on the whole, that is a much better, way to learn to read.

The sad thing is that, back then, my young mommy brain was kind of confused about how those sort of days would happen. In fact , you may even say that I was brainwashed by all the teacher training I had (most of which had the goal of good classroom management rather than good learning–regardless of what we are told, but that is another story). I thought that the fun , spontaneous, pain free learning would come with lots and lots spontaneous (on my part) “school” things. For instance I would wake up in the morning and say, “Hey, lets work on this and this and this and this today!” which would then lead to lots of tears of frustration on all of our parts because the kids were so overwhelmed by the stuff I had planned.

And so I listened to the homeschooling gurus who told me that learning would only take place if it was planned. So I set about using all that teacher training and planned our school days. Which, may I add, led to even more tears of frustration, refusal to work, and anger. Where was this beautiful, peaceful, happily learning together family life I longed for? When I asked others the answer was the same–the peaceful, happy learning is a myth, all kids have days where they refuse to work, complain, HATE math, science, history, language arts.

That didn’t make sense to me either. As a kid I LOVED science and art–except in the classroom where they never answered the questions I wanted answered. The science books were too dumbed down about anything I was really interested in using only “suitable” language for each year, covering the same information every year but adding a little more vocabulary, a little more depth, but never what I was really interested in WHEN I was interested and the teacher was in too much of a hurry to “get through the book” to stop and answer questions for one child when most of the class didn’t care. The same went for art. Our art classes were designed to expose us to a wide array of media and art history but most of it was busy work. Glue this leg here, glue that arm there. Later it was “lets paint a happy little snow scene” or make a pointillism bird. There was never the opportunity to really explore the medium or one’s own interests, because most of the kids would just mess around and didn’t really care. It was all done in the name of classroom management and “getting through” the curriculum.

And then it occurred to me. Why was I using classroom management techniques designed to deal with large classes to train my kids at home. Growing up I spent all summer exploring my interest in science and art and later in reading. I spent all summer running around, playing, experimenting, discovering. One summer I spent everyday out on the pond on the paddle boat. My cousin and I sent our Barbies diving into the depths of the pond, created a lagoon for them, a beach, a resort. Another summer I spent everyday out in the woods with my green backpack full of lunch, homemade lemonade which I figured out how to make on my own),drawing materials, notebooks, reading books, field guides, and my Cabbage Patch Kid, Sharon Renae, as my fellow adventurer. Yet another summer I helped my dad build us a tree house, and another I helped dig a trench for a pipe and pump to draw water from the pond up to our house so we could water our garden with pond water. During those summers I read tons, learned all about rocks and plants, learned to draw, got tons of exercise, and learned to enjoy my own company. For my birthday (at the end of summer) my mom always planned a birthday party which I looked forward but barely remember (loved the idea of it but HATE parties as a rule) and my dad always planned a trip to whatever museum/zoo/state park I wanted (usually within an hour drive). I almost always chose the art museum but sometimes the children’s museum or the zoo or better yet the science center or a bike trip at the state park. And those trips I remember. It wasn’t an educational trip, it was fun, it was a gift.

We also, when I was young, often went camping, and usually did so someplace with educational value (most homeschoolers would call them field trips–we called them vacation.) We went to Washington DC, Niagara Falls, Gettysburg, Hershey, Lancaster. Only occasionally did such trips include an amusement park and if so then it was most likely Idlewild–a park not far from us which has a wonderful history and isn’t all show, in fact it has one of the oldest merry-go-rounds in the US as well as one of the oldest wooden roller coasters. These activities were mostly spontaneous (unless my mom and grandma took us-then it was well planned and included lots of bus tours, because my grandma likes bus tours). We, my brother and I, preferred the spontaneous day trips or the sudden camping, canoeing, biking trips. They were fun, satisfied our curiosity, and we didn’t have too much fuss about them.

And that is what I wanted our home to be like. I didn’t want our home to be divided between school and life. I wanted life to be educational, spontaneous, fun. I was tired of the fighting (especially with our high strung and very determined oldest). If homeschooling was God’s plan for us then it should, as part of our life, help us develop the fruits of the spirit , not hinder them. It should help our children learn contentment and a longing for growth, not promote whining and complaining. As God changed my heart about what school should look like our lifestyle became our learning style. No longer did we daily get out a pile of books (though occasionally we do–a pile of books to read or books ful of potential activities to do). No longer did we sit at the kitchen table with pencils at the ready or in the basement school room. The basement school room became a playroom where the kids “played” school and later where laundry got stored as it was ready to sort. The kitchen table became the place where we ate and where the kids did various crafts and activities they found in the piles of books strewn around the house. Shamus and I became facilitators and question answerers, mentors if you like. Our focus changed from making sure the kids “knew what they needed to know by a certain age” to dealing with heart issues, character development, and encouraging the kids in the areas they showed interest and making sure they had on hand what they needed to grow that interest.

And sure, some days the kids spend the day playing a video game (though may I mention that video games are an excellent place to learn economics–especially RPG or Sim style games like Harvest Moon and Animal Crossing) and some days they spend all day watching old movies. Other days they spend all day playing pirates, dolls, practicing a play they have created themselves, baking, building, reading, playing board games, whatever captures their interest on that particular day.

And on Monday Issac and I spent much of the day together, cleaning up, doing laundry, reading a very boring and not nearly informational to suit his tastes science text book and then jumping up and doing all sorts of experiments that weren’t in the book to answer the questions he asked like: What is erosion and how does it work? What is sedimentary rock and how does it form? How did our area form? (the book didn’t use those words, deeming them too hard to read for a 2nd grader–Issac asked the questions because he likes studying volcanoes and knows that volcanoes form islands and wanted to know how our area was formed and shaped and what sort of rock we have–the answer is glaciers and sedimentary rock so I him showed him using flour and water) . A section in the book on plants got us talking abut how plants soak up water and nutrients from the soil so we got out the celery and dye and made bright blue and green celery. In one day we went through an entire science text book only reading the bits he was interested in–he knew most of the stuff anyway and wasn’t interested in the other stuff–in fact he had already done most of the experiments they had on his own. Issac later explained all about both experiments to his sisters who enjoyed seeing them (though Rachel was upset that we had used much of the celery as she was planning on using it in some soup for dinner.:)) For dinner the kids and I made curry and Chapatti from an Indian cuisine cookbook we had picked up at the library sale. Later, after our Bible reading during which all three read aloud Psalms of David) we read a beautiful picture book about Washington crossing the Delaware river. It was a rather dry factual account with gorgeous oil paintings for images so the kids enjoyed it and Rachel added to the information by enthusiastically sharing all she knows about George Washington (one of her favorite people about which to read .)

And when I looked back over the day I realized that this was the sort of day I had dreamed of, and the sort of day that homeschool gurus had insisted would never happen without careful planning, and yet, there had been no tears, the children really loved learning these things for their own sake, their natural curiosity and love of being together made all of it possible. There was no need for any classroom management because there was no classroom. We were living life together and loving each other and spending time together and it was very good.

First, for those who don’t know the above is an xkcd comic.  Perl is a programming language with many uses. The comic reminded me of my husband and got me thinking about the really important things and the things that are not so important.

As most of you know my husband is a self taught programmer who learned everything he knows about programming from his time spent working on his own projects at home NOT what they taught him at school.  School, in fact, proved useless for the most part since he didn’t learn to spell until he started using a computer and spell checker, nor did he learn higher level math until he needed it for a programming project (taught himself trigonometry when he was 22), reading you could arguably say he learned from school but only just since most of his actual reading and writing was done outside of school since he never did any homework or paid attention in class, just took the tests.  On the other hand, he has, in the course of his 37 years, taught himself to play the piano (and write music), taught himself to program in C, html, php, C++, Visual basic, and some other languages I have forgotten, written a full length novel–for fun,  written a gaming engine–for fun and to see if he could do it, designed multiple levels for other people’s games, taught himself how to do photography and then edit those photos, read multiple history, political, and religious books (the big heavy ones, not sweet little ones like Max Lucado) so he could better understand what he was reading about elsewhere and form his own opinions on the subjects instead of taking other people’s word for it, and a whole slew of other things I can’t think of right now.  I am not bragging on him I am just making a point (or reminding those who needed reminded or just possibly preaching to the choir.)

My point is that this man went to public school.  He was the kid who was always in trouble for not paying attention and not knowing what was going on around him.  He never did homework, never paid attention in class.  He was the kid who ALWAYS lost recess or computer or whatever the teacher thought might motivate him to do what the teacher wanted.  He was awkward, he was even in special ed because they didn’t know what to do about him.  He didn’t go on to college (well he tried, twice, but got so frustrated the first time that he wasn’t learning anything he wanted to learn that he dropped out after one semester, and then the second time he signed up to take one class, paid for the class, got the book, went a few times then someone stole his car and burned it, including the book and he never went back. )  He may not be successful as others consider it (he doesn’t make a ton but we get by) but he has worked as a programmer for over 14 years, writes a successful blog and web comic, and best of all he gets to do what he loves. None of this is because of his schooling, if anything he spent years afraid of trying because of his education and failing over and over.  All of it is because he knows what he loves and what he enjoys doing and does things with all his heart.

And who knows what experience in your (and my) children’s lives will most influence their future.  For my husband it was programming his best friend’s computer then saving up for his own.  In fact, for a lot of other programmers it was the same way. (The link is to my husband’s blog, read through some of the comments on this article to see what I mean.)

Only God knows what experiences may be most important.  For myself it was drawing lesson in Girl Scouts when I was 10–I found out I could draw–I hadn’t realized before that.  For my mom it was baby sitting as a teen, for my dad it was working with his excavator/workaholic dad as an 8 year old.  What experience most shaped YOUR life as a kid?

As I’m doing my best to daily immerse our kids in an engaging learning environment and introducing them to a variety of inspiring subjects, I am delighted to be discovering their passions with them, and comforted in the remembrance that these precious soul stirrings and that ultimate quickening of their spirits towards Him are all individual workings of His Spirit within them, as we’re learning to walk out His Word in our lives together, and therefore not solely dependent upon me, nor anyone else. I need but tune in to them, and especially their Creator, while keeping my eyes wide open to the opportunities abounding in each moment as we journey together each day, lest I miss those small sparks that would ultimately kindle their passions and thereby could someday even dictate their very livelihoods.

I have found that with our oldest daughter, 9yo T, who is my “go-getter”, this is an easier thing to recognize; her passions. She talks about them, and initiates doing stuff working towards exploring them on her own. When she’s inspired, the results are much more extravagant and obvious than when our 12 yo son, N is impassioned. He tends to discover passions (like writing, dance, reading a certain book, horse riding) after I’ve suggested he try something out. Lately I have been fascinated over the inter-connectedness of their blossoming personalities with the opportunities they’ve been offered thusfar in their young lives. I’m left to wonder over how beautifully it has all worked together… and question which came first, a specific passion or was an experience the catalyst of curiosity turned to desire? I’ve been musing over what the ramifications of these truths could be, not only in my kids’ lives, but in my own as well.

And we know that for those who love God, that is, for those who are called according to his purpose, all things are working together for good.

~ Romans 8.28

It’s certainly a mystery profound how the Sovereign Lord choreographs our very lives, nurturing those seeds of talent He placed within us, even as He knit us in the womb, while simultaneously allowing the free-will of our individuality. It’s caused me to consider the weighty responsibility Chris and I have as parents to introduce our children- His children- to a wide array of possibilities, directing them toward His truths, and presenting them with an assortment of rich ideas for their minds and hearts to grow upon. Gradually, I am learning to recognize when the “education” is doing its work within them, and to therefore not snuff out the tiny flames which seem yet so insignificant by my own lofty unrealistic adult-perspective qualifying standards, set mostly by pre-conceived ideas of how learning “should look”… Meaningful learning does not necessarily mean a finished *project*. I’m learning to look with my child-eyes again.

For instance, the other day when T showed me the language she’s creating for the characters in one of her stories, my first teacherly-Mom thoughts were along the lines of, “well, that’s not a real language… why should she be wasting her time and all of that good language interest and energies with this when we could be working on our Latin or Hebrew?” Thankfully, in the next instant, I realized that I was witnessing a beautifully genuine representation of this child’s love for language and passion for writing. And so the thoughts I expressed to her were those of encouragement and “why not?, how clever!” and musings over the inceptions of various languages.

But that was not the only challenge along these lines that either one of my kids have thrown at my feeble mind in the last couple of weeks. Last month N, who’s been taking guitar lessons for just over a year now (that was his own inspired idea, which he faltered in when it came to the monotany of daily practice), announced to me that he’d like to come up with his own song to play at our co-op’s end of the semester student presentations ceremony… I immediately had to shush my overly-conservative, doubtful-of-his-being-ready-to-do-that thoughts right up. After months of laboring resistantly through daily practicings on his guitar, he’s made it over some kind of mental hump, and now usually plays daily (without my having to tell him to!), and tells me he absolutely loves it. He was also greatly inspired by the movie August Rush. As we’re driving home from his lessons nowadays, he often tells me excitedly of what he’s learning, and how encouraging his guitar teacher is. Just last week his instructor told him that he could play his own songs without having any music written out(?!), and could even learn to play chords he hasn’t yet formally learned, just by intently listening to a piece of music and then copying what he hears. Imagine that… I am so thankful for the many wonderfully inspiring people that have been God’s vessels of instruction for our kids  (and myself) over the years, what evidence of HIS faithful provision! On so very many levels, this whole parenting/homeschooling business has been such a growing experience for my own faith levels.

And I know that I’ve mentioned here before of how my daring daughter gets these crazy inspired ideas to do things that are much bigger than any goals I’d ever set for her. I’ve seen how God has been faithful to send others into our lives to facilitate dreaming and passions that I could not… but I’m apparently a slow learner. Usually my first (natural) impulse is to caution her and help her to pare her visions down a bit, set her sights more realistically… but her fervor and insistence that she can and has already counted the cost of a conceived endeavour has once again inspired me, and as I’ve let go of the reigns I had moments before fearfully rationally tightened my grip on, I’ve been further delighted to see how God has sent others to come along side of me/us to see that her fans are flamed and help set her on the path to accomplishing these fantastic goals that I couldn’t have orchestrated or provided for on my own, let alone have even decided upon.

Once again, this week it seems that another request, prayerfully offered up by a girl with bigger faith shoes than I can fill has been fulfilled by a generous Father.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows…

~ James 1.17

T has praise in her heart. She loves to put on worship music and dance before the Lord enthusiastically. It’s something that I’ve enjoyed doing with my kids since they were babies in my arms, twirling together with hands lifted high. T told me on Monday that she’d like to choreograph her own dance to a Third Day song and perform it at the aforementioned homeschool co-op student presentation ceremony. I gulped down my doubts, astonished at her brevity, again. She proceeded to explain her plans to me, and I just nodded along as I listened, knowing better than to discourage her resolve. “I’m going to ask Mrs. Jamie (her dance instructor- that’s another testimony we have of His great provision for us- scholarships for dance lessons) to help me with my moves and figuring it all out.” “That’s a good idea.” “Okay then, you’ll have to wait for me a little bit longer after class so that I can talk to her about it.” I agreed. And after her dance class ended on Tuesday, I watched as she gingerly approached her teacher, holding her passion close, encased in a dream that she proceeded to share with a trusted confidante. To my great surprise and delight, Jamie agreed to help her and meet with her a half hour before her class, every week- for free! I went back and checked with her myself after T told me, just to make sure it was really alright! Is that crazy-generous, and just like God, or what?! Needless to say, T is so excited about it that she’s on fire now, and has asked a dancing friend that we carpool with to join her in the dance! She’s been busily drawing and dancing up her choreography plans. Here’s what she’s got so far:

I tried getting some pictures of her dancing, but she wouldn’t cooperate.

She did, however, allow me to take some pictures of her practicing on her violin. This – her opportunity to play the violin this year- is another story of her aspirations met by the willing Hand of Providence.

T has wanted to take violin lessons for years. I believe that the desire was probably first sparked sometime in her toddlerhood, when we spent a great deal of time with friends, whose then highschool daughter played the violin beautifully. She would watch and listen to her play intently every chance that she got. She began asking for lessons a few years ago, but we couldn’t afford private violin lessons, and neither Chris nor I can even read music (something which both of our children are now learning to do quite well -without us!).  As I do, I told her that I would join with her in praying that if it be His will, that He would provide an avenue for this opportunity for her. Then last year, we were blessed with the means to pay for N to have the private guitar lessons I mentioned above, and she so wanted the same. She confided to me of how she was struggling with jealousy and I reminded her that he too had been waiting for years for music lessons. Her time would come… and to be patient. Meanwhile, she decided to master her recorder and used the book that it came with to teach herself to read music and play quite a few folk songs. She joined a class offered at our co-op for the recorder, and took heart in my reminder not to despise small beginnings.

Then, to our delighted amazement, a wonderful lady decided to teach a strings class at our homeschool co-op this year, specifically violin and cello. T was beside herself with excitement over this opportunity to finally learn to play her instrument of choice – the violin. Now… if only we had a violin. I prayerfully sought the Lord, trusting Him to provide this too, knowing that with Him in it, it would all come together. Chris and I knew that it would have to happen cheaply to be feasible for us. Then towards the end of last school year, it came up at our Bible study with some friends that T was so glad to be looking forward to taking a violin class at our co-op, and since this friend had played for years, we asked her for suggestions concerning our finding a used violin for T. To our thrilled astonishment, she offered to loan T her own beautiful violin for as long as she needed it. I am glad that she had to wait, as I can see how it presented opportunity for her own faith to grow as she’s seen the Lord’s faithfulness in providing for her.

Time and again I have been blessed to see God’s orchestration of timely provision for our children’s passions, in both their inceptions and continuity. As their Mother and primary instructor, I find rest in knowing that it is not up to me to bring all these good things to life in their worlds,

‘ Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’
Says the LORD of hosts.

~ Zechariah 4.6

but rather I am just an open conduit of His loving kindness and purposes for each of them, His unique creations.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I know all the ladies personally and have known them for a few years now. L has 2 children, a girl 16 and a boy 10. She has a day home as well. She is ultra organized and is very computer knowledgeable. J has 6 children (18 months to 10 years) and uses Sonlight curriculum, one core year for most of the school age kids. C has 5 children 9 to 21. She has used varied curriculum over the years and her children graduated without provincial diplomas. Her oldest is in a christian university in the city and her son (18) is planning to be a lawyer. I have 4 children 11 to 17. Our family did unschooling through elementary school and introduced more curriculum through junior high and high school.

We each gave a 5-10 minute blurb about our experiences and how we run our programs, then there were questions. There were also questions afterwards, as people looked at what we brought for curriculum. That too was an interesting display. L brought some curriculum, some graphs and charts she downloaded and some organizational things from her system. J, with the full curriculum had the curriculum binder and a lot of the books to go with it. C had a number of text books for high school. I had some text books and work books and some books I have read to the kids. It might look like an effort thing, but in reality, it is how each person runs their home.

For myself, we have spent a lot of time reading, (less now that they are older and our life has taken on different things). The kids have their text books, but a lot of learning is occurring through their experiences. All my children have jobs. All have learnt to manage money through having to manage money. I recently did a couple of posts on our allowance system; they get a regular allowance and a clothes allowance. They learnt to work when they were young, through chores and extra work they were required to do. They learnt good character though family reading time, experience, and discussion. They learnt to love God the same way, as well as through a loving home, extended family and church family. My focus and belief for the kids when they were young was to “Teach them 1. To love God, 2. To have a good character and 3. To have a good work ethic; and the rest would take care of itself”, and though not flawless, it has worked fairly well. The personalities of the parents are what dictates how a home school operates, but the personalities of the students play a role in how it works out in the end.

I recently attended a workshop on mediated learning. I found reassurance in some areas as we have run our home with many of the principles outlined. I was also dismayed at the time lost in not applying other things learnt in the workshop. As parents we want our children to succeed beyond measure. We work to that end in our own way and sometimes the child’s personality isn’t consistent with the plan. The same thing happens in school. The beauty of home schooling our children is we are able to adjust our styles to mesh with each child, and give each one the best education possible for his or her needs. It is great to have the option to home school.

The other day the antique appraiser I help out, remembering how in the past I have needed to work less in order to spend time teaching the kids, asked when I needed to change my schedule and be less available.  It caught me off guard because I have gotten so used to our lifestyle of learning.  It took me a moment to come up with an answer that would avoid getting into this whole unschooling business but also satisfy her.  I said that the kids had, for the most part, taken over their own learning and listed quickly off all the projects they have done in the last few months, being careful to point out the expected learning that has occurred in this unexpected way.  She was satisfied and moved on to the project at hand while I got to be completely honest without going into a detailed explanation.

The funny thing is that it caused me to realize how comfortable it has become, so comfortable that I don’t even think about “school”  anymore.  For a former public school teacher and child of public school teachers this is shocking.  My brain has forgotten “schooly” things and is focused on life and relationships.  I no longer think of what the kids are doing in educational terms unless someone asks (though I have also learned to quickly sum up the most recent educational things going on).  It is funny how quickly it occurred and how easy it is to see all the play for what it is–God-given life training.

As I write my oldest is composing a song and has figured out how to record it on our spare keyboard.  She recently figured out a numbering system to write music notes, using the electric typewriter she bought with her own money at a yard sale, to see her through until she has taught herself how to read music.  My middle child was last seen reading a factual book about Russia and my son was building an articulated robot out of Construx and card board. This morning we spent an hour playing together on the newly floored living room–me showing them ballet from my childhood and them trying to hold each position then sliding around the room in break dance type action (which they learned from Youtube) in their footy pajamas.  Yesterday during an impromptu trip to IKEA my son and I talked about God and being thankful for ALL things, months, days, and the calendar, multiplication, telling jokes, and reading Bible names.  Earlier in the day Rachel and I watched my favorite fight scenes from several old Kung Fu flicks which prompted discussion of the culture surrounding those movies.   She has also been watching Jane Austen movies (her favorite being the 5 hour BBC version of Pride and Prejudice).  Esther showed up at one point with her favorite insect guide explaining to me her theory of why bee colonies are disappearing (she was reading about a kind of mite that kills honey bees.)  Rachel spent an hour reading Crafty Crow and Skip to  my Lou looking at and trying out various craft ideas, including making leaf people outside which turned into a game of tag.   The kids used the laminate flooring boxes to make robot costumes and sandwich board card costumes like those in Alice in Wonderland.

Who knows what they will be into tomorrow though I can predict to some extent because I know my kids and what each of their interests are.  Likely my middle child will draw some more pictures to add to the hanging art gallery she has developed on her ceiling over her bed (she gives “tours” and has it set up in rooms).  My oldest will probably add to the doll house she has created of small wall shelf she bought at a yard sale–the furniture is made of drawings on paper and bits of this and that from around the house. My son will come down and help measure the linear footage of trim we need for the downstairs (the girls will probably help–they love measuring and adding it all up.)

The thing is, this is WHO they are and who God created them to be.  Because they have plenty of materials on hand and the freedom to do and make they will run with it.  They are allowed to watch as much tv and play as many video games as they like–which they do (unless of course they have a job they need to do like their dishes or someo ther parental request) but it is not nearly as much as one might expect–they watch, in general, much less than they would if I limited the time spent.  Because they have freedom and materials on hand, they have TONS of movies and lots of video games, plenty of arts and crafts materials and the freedom to use scrap paper and other random bits of stuff they have much more interesting things to do than sit and watch DVD’s.  We are also blessed because we live in an old house where it is not the end of the world if someone draws on the floor  or forgets to use tape and glues their awesome drawing of a boy with a kite on a rope or hot air balloon to to the wall.  Sometimes things get messy (okay, usually–5 people at home all day means no house beautiful), sometimes too much is enough, and sometimes they fight, but in general it is a peaceful life overflowing with learning and activity, and we all are learning daily.

Issac waiting for a boat ride at the pond, investigating the metal loop that holds the boat to the dock.

I know this question well because we also struggled with it, and it is why we have been so slow to trust God on this whole unschooling thing.  Our conversations with God have gone something like this:

Us: “God, we know you are leading us towards letting the kids follow their interests but are you sure you don’t want us to have SOME structure? ”

God: “Do you trust me?”

Us: “Well yes but we really think they need to learn how to do basic computation on paper and a bit of spelling, and well, there are a few more things we really feel they should know.”

God : “Do you trust me?”

Us: “Well yes, but what about the boring stuff?   What about the stuff they hated doing when we did school the old fashioned way?”

God: “Do you trust me?”

Us: “Well yeah, but, what about all those battles that happened because they HATED the very things you are telling us to trust you about?”

God: “Do you TRUST me?”

Us: “Well, yeah, well, pretty much. Okay, well, yes, we trust you.”

God: “Then let go and let me lead them. Love me, love each other, show them your love for me, talk about me with them, talk to them about your interests, talk to them about their interests,  I will take care of the rest.”

Us: “Um, okay, if you are sure.”

God: “Trust me.”

Issac, despite owning multiple car ramps, built new ones from boxes he found and cut up.

We are trusting Him and it has been amazing.  While the kids still turn up their noses at the books and activities that we used for “school” they gather huge quantities of resources that they have not used before; text books, curriculum, activity books, how to books, language courses, whatever (many things I think are desperately boring).  Not only are they taking them but they are using them.

Issac using the Shark mini vac my grandma gave me to clean the ENTIRE downstairs floor, without being asked.

While cleaning the area we stored text books and workbooks the kids took ALL the educational books that they had not used for “school”  to their own rooms for further study–included in the books the kids secured are a high school math curriculum set which Rachel found fascinating and wanted for her own with promises of discussion of it with Daddy, several atlases and dictionaries in English AND Polish, numerous workbooks (Issac has been doing them at bedtime to fall asleep), lots and lots of blank notebooks for writing stories and comics in, lots of science books (which Esther confiscated and which I am finding everywhere–a sure sign she is reading them and leaving them where she finished them), word searches and other activity books, and a slew of other things I have forgotten.

Issac preparing to for a ride in the motor boat.

They are using those materials and others they have found around the house.  Rachel finished the first draft of her book and is waiting for me to finish her website before she edits it (she has decided that now that she can write by hand with no backwards letters and spelling mostly right she should learn to type.)  Esther wrote a short story and has been making me comic books ever since.  Then the kids each got a math kit (compass, ruler, etc.) from Target’s clearance back to school sale and started using them for drawing pictures and graphs and charts.  This prompted Rachel to get several math books on charts and graphs out of the nonfiction section at the library.  They started measuring everything in the house, including figuring out the area of the living room and hall so we could get laminate flooring.  They have been adding, subtracting, multiplying measurements.  Our household looks like “If You Give a Mouse  a Cookie” only with learning.

Issac building IKEA furniture

After that came the Polish curriculum I found at the thrift shop.  I spent a few months in Poland while in college and the kids love stories about that as well as about my grandmother’s Polish family.  I figured maybe I would use it to touch up on what I do remember.  Instead Rachel snatched it up and has been practicing ever since.  She has also  added the Rosetta Stone demo version of the Polish language lesson to her studies.  Esther has joined her in this study and they run around the house naming things in Polish.

Esther demonstrating her knowledge of boat safety.

And this is just the tip of the iceburg.  There is so much more going on than I can even keep track of.  Discussions have included: Scotland and Gaelic, square roots and cube roots, how mortgages work and the snowball effect, natural disasters and what causes them physically, how wind works, spelling and word order, reading big words and finding their meanings, adding and multiplying fractions (while baking), determining cloud direction, and a multitude of other things.  All of it has been interest led–the kids are running with this freedom to learn and explore, and are learning many things that I think are horribly dull and boring (but don’t tell them I said that.)

The girls often stay up in the evening working at their table, writing, reading, drawing, or in this case creating charts and graphs for the fun of it.

I think the problem, and the reason for the question in the first place, is found in ourselves and our perception of what is interesting or boring.  Any child that has been public schooled OR trained to think of school in those terms, will think that way as well–except for the odd geekling like my husband was, who at age 10, despite hating school,  spent hours and hours programming a friend’s TI because he wanted to, or like myself who at age 12 spent ALL my spare time reading and researching King Author or reading about whatever scientific thing I was currently interested in (though not what they were teaching in school.)

School trains us to think that school things, including math and grammar, are boring.  The thing is that they are only boring if you are not, at that moment, interested in them.  When, for whatever reason, something peaks your interest you are off and running.  Sure YOU may not want to learn about rocks and gems, but I was passionately fond of studying them–until I had a lesson on them in school which promptly struck that off my list of interesting things until I was graduated from college and got talking to some kids who found a cool rock and wanted to know.

Issac building a tunnel for his track.

So the question answers itself.  Don’t think of it as boring or hard stuff, talk about these things when you run into them.  Watch the kids cues.  Give them openings and opportunities.  If they show interest in something don’t get overly enthusiastic (that is one of those “school” things and will shut off that flow of imagination like nothing else), wait on them.  If you are just starting to move away from the “school” model it may take a while for them to jump in and take over.  Give them space.  Give them time to think of things without “school” or educational hanging over their head.  When you, as an adult, get interested in something you learn it because you want to, you don’t naturally think–”I am learning something, this is educational” you think, “This is cool.  I like this.”  Give your kids the same freedom, pray for wisdom, a lot, and let God open up their minds to multiple interests.  They may stick with something longer than you would expect or drop it in a matter of seconds.  Give them the freedom to do that (you would get nervous of showing interest in something if as soon as you did someone ran out and bought you EVERYTHING yo uneeded to do it–you want to test the waters first, see if it is for you–give your kids the same opportunity).  Find your own interests and passions and run with them.  The kids will learn to follow their passions from your example.  And with freedom to explore, resources at their fingertips, and the imagination and brain power God has provided them, they WILL learn–you won’t be able to stop them–even with the “boring stuff”.